Alex's Creative Space from the 2010s-Now!
Some might say I’m a little bit too obsessed with Michigan (despite it snowing in May, pothole PTSD and having to wear a turtleneck under my Halloween costume every year). But I spent nearly 20 years there, growing up and building an incredible community that I feel lucky to carry with me, even as we set up a home in a new state. Whenever we go home to visit family, I always have a flurry of appointments and places to stop by, visiting people and places that solidify that no matter where we go, Michigan is home.
I feel incredibly fortunate to have surrounded myself with a community of people and small businesses that I believe are truly the best of the best. I wanted to share with you all my own “Best of Detroit” (I worked at Hour Magazine for three years and I hope they don’t mind me using their famous tagline. Three years of working in a cubicle where duct tape held the carpet together-let’s call it even). Every couple of weeks, I’ll highlight a different category- stores, restaurants, cafes, etc. Today we’ll start with all the people who keep me looking presentable in public, the best of beauty!
I had just graduated from college when I met Kevin. I had never colored my hair, and went to him for “a few highlights!”. He was kind and gracious in my fear driven request, and convinced me to let him do balayage instead. It was love at first look. Kevin has a way of delicately hand-painting the hair, and knowing exactly where to put each strand to frame your face and make you glow. Kevin’s gift isn’t just being an incredible stylist, it’s that he makes you feel beautiful, fresh and confident. Every appointment is like a party, Kevin’s kindness and humor is unmatched. He somehow always nails (and doesn’t laugh at) my insane “vibe” requests like “Italian mob-wife brown”. We’ve gone from brunette to blonde, to “bronde”, back to brunette and so much more over the years, and every time I’m blown away by his craft and the kindness in which he does it.
Find Him: Beauty Collective Salon, @_kevingstyles
I kept seeing Ryan’s page pop-up on my Instagram, and I was always stopped in my tracks by his client’s perfectly messy, chic beach waves. I immediately wanted to be one of them. Ryan had recently opened his own salon in Detroit, “Village Parlor”, and I was itching to check it out. We exchanged a few messages, and weeks later I was sitting in his chair. He brought life back into my cut (I had been going somewhere else at this time, but was looking for a change)- taking the weight out of the bottom and giving it back its natural wave. I was a Parlor Girl and I was PROUD!! The salon is cozy and comfortable, and I can always trust his advice- whether that’s in hair or in life. He’s an integral part to Detroit, like a Coney Dog. But chicer (and without the heartburn).
Find him: Village Parlor Detroit, @ryancottonhair
I truly never liked getting my makeup done. I always ended up with ten layers of black eyeliner, foundation caked on like spackle, and bronzer I was still getting off three days later. That all changed when I met Katrina. She doesn’t do what I call “blanket makeup”. She treats each person like a true individual, finding a way to perfectly emphasize their best features- or, actually making you SEE what they are. She’s an absolute star, and always knows what’s fresh in beauty. When I tell her “I want people to see my highlight from the parking lot”, she get it and she DOES IT. I’ve never met someone who better celebrates, not covers, a woman’s beauty. Also, Sharon Stone trusts her with her face. That’s all you need to know.
Find her: Luigi Bruni Salon, @katrinamalota
Every manicure I had for the past ten years was done by Lisa Kim. She is fully responsible for the love affair I have with my nails (I may not be tall, but nails? Fingernails I’ve got. Let me have this). She created my signature “tapered almond” shape, and she didn’t call me crazy when I called her crying that I couldn’t find anyone in Vegas to recreate it (I eventually did, but only through Lisa sending me photos and proper verbiage of what to ask for). She is a complete perfectionist, which is exactly what you want from the woman doing your nails. I followed her from salon to salon, and now she finally has her own beautiful place, “Blush Nail Bar”. Lisa shapes nails like a superstar, and is a color connoisseur. I can show her a photo of any design or mix of colors, and she knows exactly what to do. It’s not a coincidence that when I moved and stopped seeing her, I broke my first nail in TEN YEARS. My thumb nail still hasn’t totally grown back and honestly, I get the protest. I miss Lisa too, okay?!
Find her: Blush Nail Bar. @blush.nailbar
I know beauty services can be written off as “vanity” or self-obsessive. But each one of these people have brought such joy into my life, it’s much more than hair or nails. Their kindness, friendship and expertise over the years has made them each a big factor in feeling at home, even when I’m living 2000 miles away. Which also, may break the record for miles willing to travel for balayage (It is THAT good).
It’s no secret that I am obsessive when it comes to skincare. I research products thoroughly, invest in facials, and haven’t gone to bed without doing my full routine in probably 5 years (The last time being after I came home drunk after a Miley Cyrus concert and woke up with the worst hangover and worst breakouts of my life). I’ve gotten my routine down to a science- from the neck-up, that is. I had put all my focus into my face, that my body often went neglected. I’d lather on whatever soap was in the shower, MAYBE put on lotion when I got out (am I wearing a dress? Nope! DRY & ASHY IT IS!). I always just figured my face was at the forefront of how I present myself to the world, and my body was secondary. Living in Las Vegas, I wear less clothing than ever, due to the simple fact that I don’t want to die of heat stroke. I started to take notice that my body was looking a bit tired. My skin looked dull and almost colorless. It didn’t have the same glow or bounce as my face. I’ve been so wrapped up in my complexion, that I neglected 95% of my body. I always figured my body would take care of itself, like it was the older child and my face was the baby that required 100% of my attention (sorry to my sister, who probably knows this feeling ALL TOO WELL).
I’ve found an arsenal of products for the body that have taken my limbs from dull to divine. Look out world…no literally, look at my legs they’re GLOWING!
I have been sweating more than usual, which I didn’t think was possible, until I moved to the desert. I shower every single day, sometimes twice, and I still get breakouts on my back and shoulders on occasion. Being the genius that I am, I knew that A.H.A products had worked well on my face, so I found something similar for my body. It’s definitely helped in keeping breakouts at bay. However, I noticed the biggest difference when I started clipping my hair up when I was conditioning it. I keep a big clip in my shower, and pile it on top of my head, so the conditioner doesn’t get on my back. Hair product can have irritating ingredients for the skin. When I started doing this, I saw serious results within days.
My hot (as hot as the topic of back acne can be) tip when it comes to bacne is to use a Salux washcloth. They are like the hotter, cooler sister of a loofah. They take your body wash and turn it into fluffy suds. The long-towel shape makes it easy to get every inch of your back and shoulders.
Back to bacne, because my exes reading this definitely want to know more (Hi guys! I’m doing GREAT!), I scar easier than Sarah Sanders lies. This means every breakout leaves a dark mark. Vitamin C serum has done wonders for my face, so I was ready to get spendy on a body wash with the same ingredient. I was pleased to find a $5.99 solution at Trader Joe’s with their Citrus Body Wash. It leaves my skin feeling tingly and energized. I haven’t been using it long enough to notice a difference in my scars- I also apply Vitamin C Serum after I shower-, but it’s an enjoyable experience, which is more than I can say for the aforementioned exes (are you still here??).
I try to wear sunscreen on my body everyday, because I’m in the car a lot, and my office is mostly windows. I don’t want to be 40 wondering where these hand wrinkles came from, when I should be worried about running sh!T at PTA or something. Most body sunscreens leave a whitecast, and smell like a 5-year-old at the beach. This one from Supergoop melts into skin with no white cast, moisturizes, and leaves a dewy glow, and smells like fresh flowers. It also comes in a convenient pump, which makes me 90% more likely to use it every day. Laziness is an art form and I am Picasso.
I’ve talked about this Nuxe oil before, and I probably will until my last breath. If you go to Paris, bring an extra bag just to fill up with this luxurious body oil. The spray-cap prevents you from wasting product, and I’ve noticed a difference in the quality of my skin after using for a few months. After I shower at night (sunscreen is my moisturizer during the day), I coat myself from neck to toes, slipping into bed feeling like I own an estate in the French Countryside. All I really own are childhood insecurities!
Time to take these products and GET ME BODIED. This is definitely what Beyonce meant. I’m sure of it.
When I first looked into the phenomena known as “self-care”, I was pumped. Who doesn’t want a reasoning behind more bubble baths, a glass of wine after work, or a $60 candle? I quickly got carried away in the practice. Paying $150 for a Hydrafacial? SELF-CARE! Taking a yoga class where a sweaty man literally sat on my back and told me to breathe through my chakra? SELF-CARE (also kind of gross)! Brunch at 3pm on a Sunday and binging “The Office” for the rest of the day? SELF-CARE!
I found myself doing more things that I enjoyed, and I liked putting an emphasis on “me time”. But I was perplexed when I didn’t find myself feeling more valued, or more at peace with myself. I felt pretty much the same, but with better skin and more flexible limbs.
I was making a homemade clay-drink creation (if you value your insides, don’t do this) when I started thinking: maybe my self-care isn’t just outward action, but internal practices I had long left behind. I decided to carefully study myself over the next few days and observe my own internal thoughts and how they materialized in my life.
I was about four hours into this exercise when I couldn’t ignore what was happening. My negative self-talk was through the roof. Just about everything I did, I attached a personal, negative emotion to it. When I tried to get up from the couch and felt a little gimpy, I scolded myself for not working out more. When I checked Twitter for the 6th time that day, I mentally noted how lazy and unmotivated I was. When I got dressed, I frowned in the mirror, knowing I wouldn’t ever look like the long-legged girl I saw on Instagram that morning. Even when I was eating lunch, I thought “take smaller bites you animal!!!”. It’s like a judgey Italian Grandmother was living in my head, commenting on my every move.
I noticed over the next few days how prevalent negative self-talk was in my life. It hindered how my day went, how I felt about myself, how I interacted with others. I was the Regina George of my own brain. The way I spoke to myself was unkind, judgmental and showed no signs of gentleness. I realized no matter how much self-care I practiced, none of it mattered, because I didn’t really care about my inner self, and how it was being looked after.
Self-care is many things. It is laying down for a bit when you’re feeling anxious and tired. It’s choosing to stay in and put some clay on your face. It’s spending an afternoon at the library, with you and only you. It’s calling a friend for a good laugh. There are so many ways to slow down, and check in with yourself. But no mud-mask in the world can hide the effects of negative self-talk. Why do we allow our inner voice be so mean? Is it because we feel unworthy of the kindness we so willingly give to others? If another person spoke to me the way I spoke to myself, they would be gone faster than this $6 Lavender Blueberry scone I’m eating in the spirit of LOVING MYSELF.
It’s true that I never feel fresher than after I’ve spent a day at the spa, having my muscles pounded into the ground, lounging around guzzling cucumber water. I speak to myself like a damn goddess when my limbs are sprawled out on a daybed, taking another sip of my Oolong tea. I usually enter the week calmer, with more confidence. But what if I could mentally check myself into my spa-safe-haven every morning, choosing to speak to myself with kindness? For starters, I would save a ton of money. For the past few weeks, every time I went to negatively speak to myself, I refrained, and rephrased. Instead of “You didn’t get to the grocery store today, you’re so lazy”, I would check in and say “I did not make the grocery store a priority today. I did some other really productive things instead”. Or one of my brain’s classics: “you will never look as effortlessly gorgeous as that girl on Instagram”, I will take a second to remind myself “her beauty does not take away from my own.”
It’s been a real challenge to reshape the way I think, and it’s something I work on every day. Self-care can present itself in a multitude of ways. I love buying a luxe face mask I’ve been saving up for or lighting a new candle. But I will not allow companies to capitalize on my need to love myself, if I truly cannot achieve that on the inside. I’ve got a long way to go- and I know I can’t totally get rid of that Italian Grandma living in my head. But instead of a judgey one, I’m trading her in for one that always tells me I need to eat more, grabs my face and tells me how lovely I am.
