The Best Things I Bought in 2019

I really made an effort to curb my spending last year. I focused only on buying things that I truly loved, and I became conscious of where I wanted to spend my hard-earned money. Of course, there were slip-ups with a sweater that was “on super sale!!”, and countless hours of adding stuff to cart, followed by slamming my computer shut. I’m not perfect (I only pretended to be for five years so Michael would marry me. Kidding! He has always known I’m insane).

We all know that the important things in life are people- not things. With that moral obligation out of the way, I want to share with you some of the best things I acquired last year. They enhanced my skin, my closet, even my bust (it was about TIME!). Here are the best things I bought in 2019:

CUUP Bras

The Scoop

The Balconette

I’ve been struggling with bras (and writing about that struggle) for years. A few years ago, I got a professional fitting- not one at Victoria’s Secret from a girl whose hands still had bits of the Auntie Anne’s Pretzel from the food court stuck to them who tells me I’m a 32D (Oh sweet girl, I barely make the alphabet). It was a real bra store and it was life changing. I was sent home with two finally perfect bras. I continued to wear those bras for the next three years. They were falling apart, over-washed and over-worn. But I didn’t have access to that specific store anymore, so I found myself wearing flimsy bralettes for months just to avoid the hell of  finding a new woman to stand naked in a fitting room with.

I kept seeing ads for CUUP, and I found out that some of my girlfriends had already been wearing their bras. The fitting studio is New York, but I was intrigued when I saw they did digital fittings. I immediately signed up for an appointment, thrilled at the idea of the only cold hands around my bust would be mine (Michael refuses to turn on the heat, so yes! My hands and all other body parts are cold).

I had a Skype call with a CUUP fitter, she told me exactly how to measure myself with my tape measure, and she sent me a questionnaire about my bust and what I wanted in a bra. At the end of the appointment, she was able to recommend perfect styles for my size and shape. The bras came, and she was completely right. The bras molded to by body like they were made for me. There was no insane padding or uncomfortable, thick wire. I got the “Plunge”, the “Balconette” and the “Triangle”. They are soft, lightweight, supportive and comfortable. the “Triangle” is my everyday go-to, but having three bras in rotation is a gift and a privilege!

Parade Underwear

I see London, I see France, I want the internet to see my underpants!!

My undergarments drawer really got a makeover this year, and it all started with Parade. Parade reached out to me pre-launch, and asked me if I would like to try a few styles. I figured that underwear was just underwear, but I loved their message of sustainability with their fabric choices, and that a portion of proceeds goes to Planned Parenthood. I got my package of the three styles: thong, cheeky and brief. Right out of the package, I couldn’t believe how soft they were, and I loved the mesh-paneling that would allow me to ~breathe~ (as much as one can in a Levi’s ribcage jean, which looks great, but violates you every time you sit down).

After wearing each style, I knew I couldn’t go back. I needed my ass in Parade every day. I went to my underwear drawer and threw out 80% of it, and placed an order for more. The vibrant colors, the comfortable, cool fabric, it’s a butt’s best friend. Well actually- no nevermind, my mom reads this.

Collect the rainbow, catch them all, blah blah blah, just upgrade your butt in 2020 (should I run for President?).

*In the clickable link, it’s buy two pairs, get one FREE! Don’t say I never gave you anything!

Outdoor Voices Exercise Dress

The only time I’ve ever wanted to blend in.

The best thing I’m going to buy in 2020 is Windex, apparently!!

I technically first bought the Outdoor Voices Exercise Dress in 2018, but it took full-blown obsession last year, and I added a second style to my collection. This dress is one of the most valuable players in my closet. It’s comfy (it has a built-in shorts liner underneath), easy to throw on, and perfect for layering. I’ve worn mine to work out, but I usually reserve it for perusing the aisles at Trader Joe’s, returning overdue library books, and taking Maple to the dog park (where his best friend is a 100+lb Saint Bernard. We love a diverse dog park!). It’s an easy way to look put together, while putting in the least amount of effort. The cheetah print is my favorite- I’ll wear it on a walk, then layer it later with a tan long-sleeve tee and a duster coat. Plus, there’s a small pocket in the under-shorts, which is perfect for my chapstick, ID, and dog treats. I will not NOT be the favorite mom at the dog park. Social suicide.

Realisation Par “Naomi” Skirt

We all know about the Realisation Par skirt, “The Naomi”. It’s the cheetah skirt that launched 1,000,000 cheetah skirts. It’s been on every blogger and Hadid and girl from your high school. But there’s a reason, and that reason is that it’s the perfect skirt. I finally bit the bullet on it for my birthday last year, and I’ve worn it every week since then. All the prints can be used as a neutral, paired with a white t-shirt, oversized sweater, even a sweatshirt or long coat. It’s an easy travel companion, easy to slip on, and is flattering on everyone. It’s simple, yet chic. Different, but not too daring. My favorite kind of math is “cost-per-wear”, and this is mathematical wonder.

The cheetah print is the most popular, but I love the floral and the red hearts. Don’t let anyone tell you this skirt is “basic”. It’s a basic, in the sense that you’ll wear it over and over again, with multiple things in your closet. Not to mention, the skirt comes in a cute, reusable tote, which I used as my purse for a good four months. And then Michael told me he was never buying me another nice purse again…fair.

Laneige Lip Sleeping Mask

This was a product that everyone I knew owned. But I was perfectly happy slathering my Aquaphor on every night like jelly on toast. I was re-upping on some beauty products online, and I needed to spend $20 more to avoid paying $4.95 for shipping. Since I am logical and great at math, I threw the Laneige Lip Sleeping Mask in my cart, satisfied that I wasn’t giving FedEx a DIME!!!

My Aquaphor quickly made it’s way into Michael’s bathroom drawer, where most of my reject products go to. He never opens it, but he should- there’s potentially great stuff in there (for him, not me. My face is a delicate temple. His, he can wash with hand soap)! This lip mask is the holy grail of lip products. It softly moisturizes all night to ensure my lips look and feel healthy the whole next day. I find myself having to use less and less lip balm during my waking hours. I use the vanilla, because it reminds me of a Jessica Simpson “Dessert Beauty” gloss I used to have. Honestly, I haven’t stopped talking about that cosmetics line for 10 years. I’ve put the brand on my BACK Jessica, BRING IT BACK!!

Glossier Future Dew

Just Dew It (surely someone else has already come up with this).

My skin on Futuredew!

I buy a lot of skincare, but this year, I found a routine and was sticking to it. However, when Glossier released “Futuredew”, I was too curious not to try. I had never tried or even heard of an oil-serum Hybrid, and I wondered if it would really deliver on its promise of giving me that “just applied all my skincare and my whole life is together” look I so desired.

This is now my favorite product from Glossier. For me, it’s the finishing touch to my “no-makeup” days, making me look more refined and dewy, instead of “I woke up late” and “too tired to care”. It makes my skin look hydrated, plump and healthy. The consistency threw me off a bit at first, so I warmed it up in my hands first and patted it onto my face. One pump is more than enough, so the bottle should last quite a long time.

Westman Atelier Makeup

Tinted Highlight

Lit Up Highlight Stick

Baby Cheeks Blush

Vital Skin Foundation

My great makeup overhaul of 2019 deserves a post in itself (and I will!), but the greatest change I made this year was the switch to mostly all natural makeup, and Westman Atelier was the reason for that. Every product I tried was better than the last. It’s true 5-minute makeup, and I don’t feel like I’m covering my skin, just enhancing it.

If I had to choose just one product from the line, the”Super Loaded Tinted Highlight” in Peau de Peche is the greatest thing to happen to me since gel pedicures. I use it more like a blush, taking my finger and swiping across my upper cheek bones, on eyelids, and a little at my hairline. It is an instant pick-me up and makes even my pasty winter skin look warm and glowy. How does one STAY pasty, despite living in the desert? I’m a modern marvel, I know.

 Here’s to another year of not getting any calls from the credit card company (otherwise known as “smart spending”)!

Earrings, Anklets & ...Arthur?

I’ve never really been a “jewelry-girl” It all started when I was in second grade, and my dad took me to “Limited Too” to get my ears pierced- against my mom’s Explicit! Instructions! Not to! Fast forward two months, when my lobes were so severely infected, that I had to go to the doctor to get the earrings removed. I was intent on getting them re-pierced, until I saw that episode of “Arthur” where D.W.’s friend’s piercing gets infected and turns her bunny ears bright green. I was apparently so traumatized by the cartoon-horror of it all, that I didn’t get them pierced again until high school.

I did however, dive into necklaces in my teens, when I got the iconic Tiffany’s heart chain-pendant, which was essential to my Hardtails and Uggs look. But jewelry in general never quite stuck with me, I just wasn’t buying or wearing it- and I always felt like just a little something was missing from all my outfits.

In the past year, I started investing in some everyday pieces. I began with a simple gold initial “A” necklace, my mom gifted me a small gold vintage pendant, and Michael got me a beautiful gold necklace for our anniversary. Slowly but surely my collection started to grow, and expand with more earrings, anklets, even a toe ring I won’t talk about. I’ve found some perfect pieces to form a sort of “starter kit” for a recovering non-jewelry wearer.

Ank Studios Laurel Hoops-$45

Two years ago, I apparently had no guidance in my life because no-one cared to inform me that sleeping in earrings was really bad for you, and may or may not rip your ear lobe. My left-lobe is still in recovery, but I’ve finally been able to wear earrings again thanks to these stickers.

The first pair I reached for is these perfect gold hoops from Ank Studios. Hoops and huggies are having a big moment right now, but so many can look cheap, or cost more than a month’s worth of Thai takeout (in hindsight, we should have not moved within walking distance of a Thai restaurant). I found Ank Studios on Instagram, and they seem to be the perfect mix of cost-efficient, yet high quality. They’re light on my ears, and they look and feel expensive. I’ve been wearing them with everything from a cocktail dress, to a sweatshirt or t-shirt. There’s something so chic about wearing nicer jewelry with everyday basics.

Brinker and Eliza The Best Is Yet To Come Necklace -$88

I’ve longed for this necklace since seeing it on just about everyone at Paris Fashion Week. It’s the perfect mix of costume and chic. I’m currently wearing it with a t-shirt and jeans, but can’t wait to wear with sweaters and skirts all winter long. I’ve found that I prefer my jewelry to be a little more playful. Unless someone wants to get me a diamond necklace, then I can get serious REAL FAST.

Roxanne Assoulin Hip Hop But Not Earrings -$120

When my beloved ear lobe was healing, I strictly wore clip-on earrings. When I found these by Roxanne Assoulin, I felt like they were the essence of me- loud, colorful, and a little crazy. The mismatched pair was love at first sight, and I finally splurged on them before going to Europe last Fall. I’ve worn them with everything from sweatshirts to formal dresses. They’re eye-catching, playful, and can jazz up any outfit. Definitely an investment worth making. At least that’s what I told my financial planner. I’m sure he understood!!

A Cowrie Shell Anklet

Cowrie shells were all the rage in jewelry this summer, worn by just about about every influencer and your favorite 10-year-old coming back from summer camp. I really wanted a cowrie shell anklet, but wasn’t willing to pay the hefty price tag I kept seeing. Thank God for Etsy! For $7, I have the accessory of the season, and I can’t wait to take it into Fall. I plan to wear it over white athletic socks with sneakers, or with a skirt and heeled sandals (SANDALS YEAR ROUND IS NOW MY REALITY!!!). It puts a little Johnny Tsunami in my step and honestly, I think that’s something we could all use right now. Go big or go home!! (I will most definitely go home).

Vintage Jewelry

A lot of jewelry I’ve found has been from vintage or antique stores. Especially if you wear clip-ons, this is the way to go. I’ve shopped locally (if you’re in Michigan, “Crimson Rose Antiques” in Birmingham is my favorite), but have also seen great finds on Etsy and Instagram. Since vintage jewelry is a little worn, I usually just polish up with a cloth or take the item to get professionally polished at a jeweler. I found a beautiful, delicate rhinestone evening-watch a few months ago. It was far too big for my wrist, and badly needed a shining. I took it to my local jeweler, where they removed a few links and polished it up so it looked brand new. All in all, I think the watch + the maintenance cost me $30. Shout out to all the grandmas everywhere for making it possible to shop such chic vintage jewels, I will wear your clip ons with pride!!

Fall Fashion Finds

Judging by the abundance of pumpkin spice lattes and apple-orchard-selfies on my Instagram timeline, fall has arrived. Temperatures have even gotten cooler here in Nevada. I went from having to wear a bathing suit for survival to t-shirt weather, a major upgrade. But living in the desert has not deterred me from dreaming about scrumptious sweaters and turtlenecks so bulky, that they hide my hormonal chin breakouts. It will be another month-or-so before I start stocking up on boots and just about everything made of wool (upper lip would be drowning at the moment), but I wanted to get a head-start and share the best fall fashion trends, and my personal favorite finds, with all of you!

J. Crew French Girl Blazer

Blazers really made a comeback last fall, and don’t seem to be going anywhere fast. Gone is the formal undertone of the blazer, replaced with oversized, menswear inspired styles meant to be worn with t-shirts and over slip dresses. What was once a serious, masculine piece of clothing is now the pinnacle of every good wardrobe.  

I love the look of this one from J. Crew. It’s double-breasted and unstructured, giving it the ultimate cool, French girl vibe (hence the blazer’s name- kudos J. Crew). I’ve will live in this over a t-shirt and jeans, but I also love it over a lightweight sweater and bike shorts. YES! Bike shorts and blazers. Free blog name up for grabs.

*I found this blazer to be true to size. It’s naturally a little boxy and oversized.

J.Crew French Girl Blazer

$148

J. Crew French Girl Blazer

$148

Zara glitter turtlenecks

I’m a sucker for a good turtleneck. I think they’re the epitome of chic and looking put together. Also when I don’t feel like doing my hair, I can tuck it into the turtleneck, and no one has to know I didn’t have time to wash it because I stayed up all night thinking about Peter Kavinsky ( Calm down-he’s over 18. I checked.).

This turtleneck from Zara is a great basic, and sparkle was all over the runways for the season. Wear alone with jeans, skirts, or under another sweater or sweatshirt. Maybe on the one day in January that it dips below 50 degrees, I’ll wear mine with heavy white jeans and boots. Marking my calendar!!

Zara Metallic Turtleneck

$40

Zara Metallic Turtleneck

$40

Novelty/Fisherman Sweaters

A few weeks ago, “The Cut” mentioned that Harry from “When Harry Met Sally” would be their fall style icon, and I’ll never be the same. Meg Ryan definitely has peak 90’s style in the classic film, but it’s Harry who’s quietly serving me bulky sweater CHICNESS. Paired almost too-simply with just jeans and sneakers, it’s the fall uniform. This is a unisex look, ladies and gentlemen! Honestly there’s nothing hotter to me than a man in a big bulky sweater. I really never thought I would say that Billy Crystal is a style icon, let alone a sex symbol. 2018 is wild.

I tend to either buy my sweaters one size up, or even look around in the men’s department. A slightly over-sized fit is best for a cozier, cooler look.

Zara Metallic Argyle Sweater

$49

L.L. Bean Women's Signature Sweater

$99

J. CREW Men's Fair Isle Crewneck

$148

Zara Sequin Argyle Sweater

$60

WESTERN-INSPIRED BOOTIES

Listen- I get that no one wants to look like Jessie from “Toy Story”- I haven’t since I was 10-years-old at least. But cowboy boots are back and better than ever. Don’t take it so literally- we’re talking stylized versions of the Western-wear. Extreme pointed toes, ankle cuts, outlandish colors like bright white (my favorite) and red. They’re a perfect update for things already in your closet- jeans, dresses and mini skirts. “80’s Western” is big for the season, further proving that Pixar really was just LIGHTYEARS ahead (PUN! INTENDED!)

Topshop "Mission" Western Boot

$125

Halogen "Bergen" Bootie

$120

Who What Wear "Delilah" Bootie

$45

Sam Edelman "Brian" Booties

$160

Rad Plaid

A few years ago, I really wanted to be Cher Horowitz from for Halloween. I couldn’t find a plaid yellow skirt to save my life. Fast-forward to today, and I can walk into any Target and make a “Clueless” look for any day of the week. Plaid is back in a big way. Larger, exaggerated prints, mixing plaids by color and material. Tartan trousers, oversized coats in fresh colors, plaid nylon totes- I feel like a Golf icon and I’m all in.

To keep it modern, try mixing different colors of plaid, like with a scarf and blazer. My personal favorite is to mix by material. Sleek Tartan pants with a wool buffalo-plaid scarf. Will you look like a fool? As if!!!

Urban Outfitters Plaid Puffer

$125

Target, A New Day Sock Booties

$38

Urban Renewal Plaid Trousers

$69

Topshop Heavy Check Scarf

$40

Animal Print as a Neutral

I live for animal print. I don’t wear fur, so it’s the closest I’ll ever get to feeling like a cool a$$ jungle cat. I was thrilled to see it all over the runways, mixing different leopards and cheetahs, chic zebra trench coats and sultry snakeskin boots.

My favorite version is in the form of skirts. Having an animal print skirt can be a wonderful neutral in your wardrobe. Pair a brown and black cheetah-print midi with a turtleneck, white blouse, even one of those chunky sweaters mentioned earlier. Mix two different animal prints if you’re really feeling wild.

Pixie Market Silk Skirt

$90

And Other Stories Leopard Sweater

$99

Mango Snake Print Skirt

$80

Splendid "Carla" Bootie

$168

 
This Fall, jump in some leaves for me. Enjoy some cider and overdose on doughnuts. Wake up early and take a walk in the crisp fall air. This will be the first time in my life I don’t experience a Michigan fall or winter. Right now I’m feeling nostalgic, but I know come December, I’ll be pretty pleased when the only ice I’m scraping is off my frozen margarita, poolside. PERSPECTIVE!

The Shopping Rule That Put an End to My Impulsive Purchases

A few years ago, I was looking through my closet when I realized- I hated just about everything in there. Most of us have had this moment. It’s not that we truly have nothing to wear, it’s that we have nothing we WANT to wear. My closet was so chalk-full of items that it was an arm workout to go through it all (am I a fitness influencer now???). I stared at it all, seeing all the wasted dollars and credit card charges, and I started taking pieces out one by one. 4 garbage bags later, I knew I was still lacking that satisfaction of going in and effortlessly picking something out. Not one-offs, but clothing that could carry me through a multitude of events.

We all have the one-offs. Your friend calls you and tells you she has an extra ticket to the John Mayer concert (it’s still 2010 in my mind)! And in my totally sane brain, I convince myself there is not one thing in my closet that could impress the throngs of moody 18-year-olds in attendance. I go to the mall, find some perfect $25 tank top that will be the envy of a pre-pubescent crowd, and John Mayer, if a miracle happens. I wear it to the concert, get 1000 photos in it…and proceed to never wear it again. Repeat for a bridal shower. Repeat for a job interview. Repeat for another John Mayer concert (I went to a lot in youth- I’m not ashamed). I’m here to help you avoid the one-off, and possibly explore the psychological meaning behind needing something new for every occasion. Just kidding! I don’t have enough time in the world to get into that.

After my garbage bags full of my one-offs were donated, I sat down and made a list in my phone. A list of things I felt I needed to really create a “Capsule” wardrobe, a few items I would be happy to pull out and wear to work, to drinks, to run errands in. I think my original list was something like a great oversized blazer…nice black ankle boots…jeans I felt comfortable in and could wear causal or dressy… a tailored white blouse. I went for the basics, and I vowed I would not buy anything that wasn’t on my list.

A few months went by, and I truly bought almost nothing that wasn’t on that list. Every time I was tempted, I would ask myself if it was on my list, or conductive to my closet-building. 99% of the time, it was not, and I would put it back or exit out of the browser. If I were in “Game of Thrones”, I would be dubbed “Alexandra Ayaub, First of her Name, Queen of Adding to Cart”. It’s my favorite past-time, other than eating Macaroni and Cheese in bed and watching “Grey’s Anatomy” for the 100th time. My “Seattle Grace” nickname would be McCheesy, in case you were wondering.

Make a list every season, or as frequently/in-frequently as you need it- but be fully realistic about what it is that you need. I constantly hear from other women “I need dresses!” “I need more tops!”. Write it down when you think of it. When you are tempted to buy something, go back to your list. Is it on there? When we get sidetracked and spend our money on things we don’t really want or need, there’s nothing left for what we DO desire. I’m not saying other items don’t slip in every now and again. My AMEX knows the importance of a vintage beaded bag. But having a list helps us control those impulsive purchases, curbing our spending from being a free-for-all.

Here’s what my list looks like right now:

My list might take a few months to fulfill, and financially, a few might have to wait. But that means in the interim, I’m not buying other wasteful things to take their place. Not everything on the list needs to be expensive! That over-sized blazer on my original list? I found at Target for $25. I know for the loafers, I’ll spend a little more, because I want them to last forever. Just make sure whatever you find, you love, feel good in, and can wear it with other pieces you already own.

Ever since I started this exercise, I have been building a closet full of things I love, wear continuously, and I am actually saving money. We create “To-Do” lists all the time, to help us focus on what we need to get done, and feel accomplished when we’ve done so. Why not do the same with our wardrobes? 

Thanks to my list, I know EXACTLY what I’ll be wearing to my next concert (it won’t be John Mayer, ok!! …mostly because he’s not on tour)- and it won’t be a tank top that some 17-year-old ends up buying from Plato’s closet.

"Day to Night" is a Scam and I'm not Falling for It Anymore

I was addicted to magazines when I was growing up. I would spend hours flipping through my “Teen Vogue”, “Vogue”, “Cosmopolitan”, “Teen People” (R.I.P.)- and a resounding theme was “Take your outfit from day to night!”. Every issue, every season, there were new ways to take my pencil skirt and blouse from desk to daquiris (even as a 15-year-old, this was important to me even though I had no job nor could drink?). I consistently see it in publications today, swapping out ballet flats for a funky block heel, or a pendant necklace for some gaudy beaded thing. I quickly realized that now in my adult working life, I never once worried about taking my outfit from day to night- so why are magazines still so obsessed with it?

Don’t get me wrong- I’m obviously here for pieces that can be worn for multiple occasions and events, but that never quite seems to be the clear narrative. Here’s my theory: back in the 90’s, early 00’s, women were dressing more formally for work. Fashion and clothing weren’t as accessible as they are now, with the birth of fast fashion and online shopping. We’ve gotten so much more creative and expressive with “professional dress”. Most work places don’t enforce a formal dress code of suits, pencil skirts or dresses. And even if they do, what’s the problem with wearing those things out after work? It’s martinis with your messy friends, not the Queen.

To be perfectly honest, I don’t think “Day to Night” is as crucial to working women, because most “nights” consist of going home, taking our pants off, throwing on a face mask that will fix EVERYTHING, and watching last night’s shows while simultaneously exploring every crevice of the internet. Oh, and fighting the patriarchy, but that goes without saying. AM I RIGHT LADIES?

Men never have to worry about owning extra accessories or stuffing “a great, sassy belt!” into their work bags if a date is on the after-work agenda. They show up in the exact same thing they put on that morning, maybe putting on a little extra deodorant or checking for boogers. Why is there such a strong narrative that the clothes that women wear to work, aren’t acceptable for a drink that we probably desperately deserve?

Most women I know aren’t remotely interested in “Day to night!” unless it involves tips on how to take off our bras off through our shirts before we get in the door. We’re just fine in what we’re wearing, thank you very much. It’s all a ploy to get us to buy more things, and convince us that we need more to be more. I’m not falling for it anymore, and I’ll show up to dinner in the same thing I worked in all day. Not all heroes wear capes…but we will wear the same pants all damn day.

We Need to Talk About Paul Manafort's Wardrobe

I often dream about having an unlimited budget for clothes. The beautiful things I would buy…I would essentially dress like a rich woman lounging in the Hamptons, year-round. Well one of America’s least favorite (do we have favorites??) con-men, Paul Manafort, thanks to off-shore bank accounts, DID have an unlimited clothing budget. For the cool cost of 1.3 million dollars, he decided to look like a dollar store drug dealer. A garbage gangster. Clothes that scream “I’M RICH WORLD, CAN’T YOU TELL?!”. Tacky plaid blazers that looked more like Danny DeVito in “Matilda” than Nick Wooster. Snakeskin overcoats- which in reality was very clever, considering he really IS a traitorous snake. I love a good theme.

In an attempt to cover up my constant anxiety over the state of our country and its lack of leadership, I thought I would dissect a few pieces of Cheatin’ Paul’s lavish wardrobe.  I use the word “lavish” very loosely, because I really do believe this is the only wardrobe in the world that looks like it is from a Men’s Warehouse outlet sale, but for the cost of a large home. BEEP BEEP, HERE COMES THE FASHION POLICE (followed by the real police- enjoy prison, Paul!!)

THE OSTRICH JACKET- $15,000

When I first heard of this infamous ostrich jacket, I envisioned something grand, possibly with feathers and proper tails. What I didn’t expect, was the bomber jacket of 90% of taxi drivers- and even that’s offensive to hardworking taxi drivers everywhere. This man, who’s supposed to be the “best of the best”, was swindled into buying a coat that looked like every teenage “bad boy” in every movie, that hangs out behind the bleachers saying things like “do you always do what your parents tell you to?”. Honestly the sales associate that sold him this piece deserves our utmost respect, possibly even an award.

PYTHON COAT- $18,500 (LOL)

You know the saying “you look like a million bucks!”? This looks like a craigslist coat being advertised for an upcoming estate sale. I truly want to know where he intended to wear this, other than some underground speakeasy at 2am meeting with Ukrainians-actually this purchase totally makes sense now. Let’s carry on.

The Plaid Suits- $15,000

The boxy fit of these suits is a felony alone. You could fit four Jared Kushners in just one of these blazers. We could house a small family coming across the border under one of these, but honestly, they’ve already had it hard enough and shouldn’t have to endure any further trauma. Anyone who says that letting immigrants into the U.S. is horrific, hasn’t seen one of these suits. Next.

The Double Breasted Blazer- $$ unknown, but to be honest anything over $100 is too much for this

Remember that episode of “The Office”, where Michael accidentally wears a women’s suit? It seems that Paul got lost on his way to "Alan Couture" and ended up at an "Ann Taylor". Hillary wore it better. So did Michael Scott.

THE CASUAL WEAR- $48,500+

Paul Manafort’s casual wear is that of a dad that never shows up to his kids soccer games when he says he will. Poor kids, but it’s even sadder for the lizard used to make a $48,00 jacket, that looks like I pulled it from a bin at Mr. Alan’s.

While this was a fun exercise in fashion-policing someone who was wanted by actual police, let it serve as a reminder that every.single.voice.matters. I understand that Paul Manafort wasn’t an elected official, but he had a hand in electing someone who is. We get to choose the type of people that represent us as a country, in Washington, and in our own states and cities. The people that really make a difference, are us, the people. Oh, it’s also a lesson that money can’t buy taste. But I think we established that back at “Python coat”.  

Here's What to Buy From the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale: 2018 Edition!

It’s the most wonderful time of the year- no, not when the Home Depot Hot Dog stand puts up summer hours, but the other most wonderful time, The Nordstrom Anniversary Sale.

As I wrote last year, this sale is one of my favorite shopping events of the year. It’s NEW fall merchandise, on sale before it hits stores at full price. This was my first year not living in Michigan for the sale, so I let a few tears pass as I scrolled by delicious, heavy winter coats and cozy sweaters. I had to adjust what I was buying due to my change in climate (did you know even your fingers can sweat? ME EITHER!). I may have let a sweatshirt or two slip in there, but I am only human and a change in scenery cannot change me!

My purchases were carefully curated, and I’m sharing what I got, plus a few. I’m still in my period of (F)unemployment, so I had to shop responsibly  (somewhere, my husband is smiling reading this. Hi, Mike!).

ASTR The Label Button Front Midi Dress: $52.90 (After sale: $79)

This was the first item that caught my attention. The price was right, print is a perfect Fall-floral, and I love the vintage silhouette of it. It is a tad low cut, but I think the length and sleeve detail make it more Lady than Tramp (but if Tramp is your thing, I’m here for that too- women doing what they want 2018!!). The buttons from bust to hem make it possible to even wear this dress as a top. I wore it over jeans, unbuttoned from the hem to my waist and voila! Now you have a blouse and a dress! You’re welcome!

Transition this from summer to fall with sneakers or boots instead of sandals, or layered with a turtleneck or tee underneath.

NIKE Sportswear Rally Sweatshirt: $51.90 (After sale: $70)

The extent of my sweatshirt wearing now is slipping one on when Mike’s not home and I turn the AC down to 65. But this limited-time activity did not prevent me from adding this perfect pull-over to my collection.

The high-neckline allows this sweatshirt be a more refined, and less sloppy. If I didn’t live in the pits of hell, temperature-wise, I would pair with a midi skirt and sneakers come Fall. Until then, I’ll wear it in front of my freezer.

ASTR The Label Twist Front Bodysuit: $35.90 (After sale: $55)

I live for bodysuits. They’re easy to throw on, comfy and great for layering. I’m always looking for ones I can wear for going out, as it’s a one-stop-shop to a great outfit (well, you’ll need pants or something. Hopefully.).

This one from ASTR is a rich, metallic silver-grey, and will look great with black high-waisted pants or baggy jeans. The front-twist detail is extremely slimming, and it DOES have a snap closure. Let’s face it, there’s nothing worse than going to the bathroom and sitting naked in the stall, because you had to pull down your entire bodysuit. It's peak vulnerability. There is probably no other frequent-situation that makes me reevaluate my life and choices more. Snaps make this a sure purchase.

Rebecca Minkoff Koso Bootie: $99.90 (After sale: $149.95)

I have long been looking for a perfect white Western-inspired boot, but everything I found made me look like a Dollar-store version of Jessie from "Toy Story". They were either too tall or too pointy, and I looked more ready to two-step, not for two drinks.

These are the ideal heel-height for every day, a perfect shade of non-stark white. The low cut of this boot makes it much more accessible to wear with multiple pieces. White boots are a big-time accessory right now, and you can wear them with anything from flowy dresses, to mini skirts or jeans and an over-sized blazer. Just stay away from anything Fringe. You are Rodeo Drive honey, not a Rodeo Clown.

VANS Old Skool Sneaker: $42.90 (After sale: $64.95)

I love that Vans became not-just for the skater crowd, but a true cool-girl staple for women and men. It’s like the modern version my pink "Etnies" from 6th grade, but without the Happy Bunny sketches on them. THANK GOD FOR PUBERTY!

I immediately took to this updated-version of the plain black Vans. The body of the shoe is linen, giving it a great textured look. It’s a fresh take on a white sneaker, which goes with just about everything already in your closet. The gold-logo detail dresses it up a bit, making me feel like the COOL girl at the skate park, not the one riding by on her bike on the way to the Aquatic Center, kick board in tow.

Diptyque Mini Candle Set: $55 ($75 value)

This deal is the true reason I began stanning (linked that to the Urban Dictionary definition because there are sweet moms reading this) this sale in the first place. I put these in our bathroom, on my nightstand, just about anywhere in our apartment. They are small with a big impact, the scent will still fill any room. Don’t forget to de-wax them when you’re done! They make the perfect holders for Q-tips, earrings, or even a holder for dipping sauces, when everything else is in boxes and you’ve got sweet potato fries in the oven. SO I’VE HEARD!

They also make perfect gifts, but I’m feeling stingy this year so sorry friends! This one’s for me.

Dior Addict Lip Glow Set: $75 ($90 value)

I am the laziest when it comes to lip product. Yes, lip balm is essentially attached to my right hand, but when it comes to lipstick, I’m lazier than 7-year-old me during "T.G.I.F". on ABC (Why hasn’t  “Sabrina the Teenage Witch gotten her reboot yet? For another time.). That doesn’t stop me from owning about 20 lip colors, however! Old habits die hard, or in my case, they don’t die at all because I’M STILL BUYING THEM!

Dior Lip glow is the one lip product I use up, every time. I own 4 shades, and each one holds a special place in my heart and purse. It’s the easiest and most non-committal way to wear lip color. It moisturizes and enhances your lips natural color, while giving you a natural flush of perfectly pouty shades.

They can be expensive on their own- $34 a pop. But in this set, you get your choice of Lip Glow in Coral (my favorite for summer) or Pink (the OG), PLUS, a lip lacquer (a very light-weight lipstick with mega-shine and high pigment) and a mini lip-plumping gloss. This set is your introduction into the addiction of Dior Lip products and I’m so sorry but also, you’re welcome.

And in a dark turn: Thank you to this sale for distracting me from the world essentially being on fire! At least I have my sweatshirt to keep me warm. Happy shopping!